Changes that changed life forever

"Know what's weird? Day by day, nothing seems to change. But pretty soon, everything's different.” Calvin says about being in this world unfair always against our side.But if you ask me, things rarely change for me. "Day by day we find something new. Each day has a difference from the previous one. But when looking back after a while, we are still the same." At least that what I felt till my college days. After that, things did change. The day I joined work, I felt I was on my own. Parents who were there to look after you are there only to look at you. The first time I paid for the bus tickets to home for dad from my own earned money, I felt really weird. Something has changed in my life. All the time before, when any change happens in the day to day activities, it did not make any change. Losing your pencil box in School did not make you bankrupt. Low score in exams just meant two hits from a stick. Quarrels with friends in college didn’t create a barrier for us next day. Flunking in exams weren’t a threat for the future. Failing in the job interviews just meant there is something else ahead. Though the ship of life sailed rough and hard, we steered on the same direction. But things were not the same there after. It was not until two years back, I would not have believed that what you do changes your life forever. I believed turning right and then a left would get back to the same direction again. It never seemed that it was making any difference to the journey ahead. But I found myself sometimes caught in the storm. Spinning hard in the whirlpool; the directions changed as I came out of them finally. And before I knew it, life is different. Things I never thought could happen hit the reality harder and harder. It appeared to be surreal more like a nightmare and I would think that I will wake up anytime then and things would be back to normal as they are supposed to be. But it was happening for real and the ship has indeed changed its path. Life changed in ways I did not expect. People were not to be blamed but myself alone. The dream I lived long and considered everlasting disappeared before I realized it. Leaving the helm of my ship in someone else's hands and also obviously the doubt and fear of my own route I took had shown its effect. Every day, I look high in the sky and hope that things will go back to the best way as it was before. Longing for the same persons around me; speaking nothing that can change the winds; finding happiness in sharing the sorrows we meet; laughing at each other; never bored to do the same thing everyday; not a difference from any other day; thinking its going to last forever. Time came to make a decision and though I understood the life is going to be changed, never realized the consequences that it is going to create. Trying to guard the left eye, I left the right eye unguarded and hurt, later finding tears in both the eyes. Again, I was wrong to assume that only eyes are affected. The pain was all over my body and I got more than I asked for. Life can never be the same. But I can not leave the world as it is. I had given time the only remedy available its chance to heal the wounds. Now I hope to see if the damage is recovered or at least the pain to have passed away. It needs more than will to look back at the catastrophe you created. Courage that I lack has to fight the cloud of guilt to move ahead in the field to restore the peace that was there with everyone who sailed with me. Do I have the heart strong enough to enter the land of misery I created still remains a mystery.