Honey! I would never lie* to you

Thats true. We all say lies. But I dont lie big. I will do it little by little. So you see, I can never be called a big liar unless she sums it up. But there is even a book on that. "Why men lie and women cry". The guy who wrote that book should have read my mind for sure. It was all about me and a little about her too. My answer to his book is simple.

"Men lie because women would cry if they dont.

Women cry because they easily find out when men lie."

So you see it all falls around women and their crying. Seriously men had nothing to do that. Thats what I claimed till she threw a fork at me. I just hope that she thought it was a spoon. Anyway, the doctor said that my puncture wound will heal in few days and advised me not to get in the middle of a dart game.

Now I think you know the reason why I lie. Only a little though. But the biggest problem is that I am so good at telling lies that sometimes I would think they are true and act according to that. For example, when I told her that I couldnt meet her at the coffee day because I was having a sprain in my leg, the next day I went to the doctor to look after my leg and he charged me 5000 bucks for testing his new cash picking machines called xrays and scans and told me that it I am just imaging things. He was right ike a doctor in that.

So here I was again driving my bike to see her in coffee day and I remember I am late for 15 mins because of the traffic jam though I see not even a bread slice where there can be jam. It was like everyone is in hiome watching mega serials. So I reached there 16 mins late according to my time. but then she was sitting staring at the empty cappachino cup that might break if she stares a little longer. Anyway it wont as I saved it as her stare turned to me. I thought I would get burnt. I should have let the cup break.
"You are 30 mins late". she bit her lip.
"No. I am just 16 mins late. And if I remember my mention about the traffic, I am just 1 min late"
"You called me half an hour back. Do you want to see the call records in my mobile"
Damn. I should invent some virus to delete the call records when the call ends. Something like Mission Impossible movies. The message will self destruct in 15 secs and she would not have any proof that I am late. But now she have.
So I had to put a little lie. "Oh is it. Oh! look! my watch stopped. It must have stopped when the other bike hit me while moving in the traffic."
"Thats bad. Are you hurt?" she was suddenly caring. That was great. But I had to keep the rhythm. Nothing much. Just a little scratch on my hands..... and my index finger too."
"Oh! I am sorry. Let me take a look" She took my hand and I gave a little "ouch". She looked at me if I am a kid crying out of pain and then kissed my hand.
Man, I should have told something more. May be a guy punched me down. yeah. And then I fell right on the road with my face down.
But then she wouldnt have touched me at all.
"Where is your watch?" she asked.
"I must have forgotten in my house" My mind still trying to invent some places where I got hurt.
"What?" she yelled.
Thats when I came back to reality. I am going to get hurt everywhere. So I had to put up some little lie there.
"Yeah! I left the watch you gifted me in my house. I didnt want to put it in this traffice you know. Something might happen and it might stop"
"... like today?" she added. She was hinting something.
"Yeah! like toda.....y." Thats when it hit me and to avoid being hit, I added a pinch.
"I was wearing the one that my colleagues gifted for my birthday"
"So what happened to it?"
"It stopped. I told you that before".
Now she was getting irritated. "I thought it stopped running. But I didnt think it stopped walking with your hand!"
Her sense of humor is always great. Especially when she is angry and I am in danger.
I wondered how much she know why I was late. She cant be knowing that there was no traffic all the way. And definitely she doesnt know that I was in cricket ground all day which according to her is a waste of time from the time India lost against Pakistan. May be she doesnot know anything. So I added a little more.
"May be. It must have fallen when I had the accident back there"
She wasnt buying it. I know something was amiss with my little lies. Something disconnected.
"Then how come you told me that your watch stopped working".

One should realise that in the art of telling lies, you can stack up lies one above the other until it reaches a point at which it will start to collpase* and thats when your girl friend finds out and your lies collpase like a demolished building. And I have reached my point of saturation by that time. One another lie will collapse my enitre stack. But similar to every law that has an asterix(*) attached to it, so do the art of telling lies which states that the collapse can be solved by moving few tiles to the base and starting a new stack out of it.

So I moved a few tiles like keeping the watch at house and got hit by a bike but left the rest in the old stack. To create the base for this stack, I had to create a larger lie.
"Honey! What really happened is that there was no traffic. I actually got stuck in the hospital because my ML met in an accident and I had to give blood. I thought you would be worried if I say the truth"

With that strong base, her face showed pitiful at me and I felt that I will get a kiss again. But her doubtful mind shot again. "Is that your lady ML who fancies you a lot?"

Should I be happy that she thinks that SOMEONE fancies me or should I be alarmed that SHE thinks that? Its a difficult situation. But I maintained the same way. "Dont be silly. She is such a irritating person. You know I hate her all the time. what ever she might think, you know I hate her."

"Then why would someone wear the watch she gifted all the time even when visiting their girl friend?"

"May be to lose it like what happened today".

She bought the perfect lie though she said "You are lying. I know that". She was absolutely right. Actually I can never forgive myself if I lose that black Titan metallic watch which was really cool that I never remove it other than the time visiting her.

"Of course not. I am glad that I didnt wear the watch you gifted honey". I was speaking the truth here. A gold plated watch with gold dials and gold background is not something I dreamt for.

"Yeah!" She looked at me like I have done the most respectful thing in my life and our eyes met. "I love you" she said.

"Me too" I said speaking the truth.

"May be you should take me to visit her. How is she now"

"She is fine. It was just her hand and the index finger". I ran out of lies and was using the old lie again which is a big blunde when you have an intelligent girl beside you. I knew the stack is going to collapse.

Before I could build up a new lie, she pushed me away and threw the coffee cup at me. It hit my left hand and the index finger and it broke... I meant the cup.

I shouted "ouch" which was a true voice. With the realization that I shouted the truth, she came towards me frightened if she had broken my hand and touched it for which I shouted "ouch" but that was another tile on the stack. She was saying sorry repeatedly and took my hand and kissed it. I am not sure why girls think that if they kiss a person's wound, it would stop the pain. The scientists should research on girls' lips because it actually works. I was happy that the cup broke. She insisted that we should go to the hospital though I know it would just be another attempt to give cash for using the doctor's costly toys. And thats when I got the phone call. She took the phone and answered it. When she finished the call, she looked sad and said "Your ML met with an accident it seems. They are asking if you can give blood".

Now I got scared. My lies are turning to truth now. We got to the bike and started driving towards the hospital. My mind was wandering only towards the black Titan metallic watch that I forgot at the cricket ground. May be no one will notice it in the dark. And then it started to rain. The watch isnt waterproof. We got completely wet as we reached the hospital. There was complete traffic all the way and we got stuck for 16 mins in the rain.