Sunday, December 9, 2007

Searching for the companion - True but not true

It was foolish of me to let her go even after realising how much I loved her. But I had my time and I lost it due to my usual undecisiveness. A little doubt of fear of the unknown and felt that life could be better for her without me made me decide the other way. After all, she did have a better life soon after I walked away. Her name was Sebrina.

The decision to have my own companion happened naturally without any intention. I think it was time that made the decision. But with Sebrina not in my life, I moved on searching for others. If you are one of those who still dont have any companion of your own, believe me; finding one is more difficult than living with one. With my surroundings liking towards the traditional prospects, I had to give in my thoughts for a compromise. Though one would argue that its a wrong decision, life doesnt have anything that is right. Its all about finding that is right for your life. So with little compromises, I looked at the offers I possibly would get. I sure well know know my limits. Even I have felt awe on many others including Brindha, Fathima and Poornima. But when it comes to considering something serious, you can never count on them. So I obviously dropped those cards.

So my search went on without any extreme hope beyond my reach. But very soon I felt my search for the companion who can match all my dreams seemed very remote. The first one I came across was Eliyana and I thought my search was over. But before I could gather the courage and make the first step, I saw her with someone else. I created a huge disappointment in my heart. Though disappointed, I learnt the lesson. "Every second you hesitate you are moving towards the edge." More and more crossed my life. Maya was someone I was getting interested after the very first talk. Though I liked her a bit, something was telling me it was a wrong decision and it became evident when I met her. I bid good bye to her due to various reasons.

The problem in life is that after you decide to move ahead but if things dont happen in your way and you are pulled back, you lose the interest and will take drastic steps. Either you would run away or you would lower your esteem not knowing the effects that you would face in the future. I went into the same state when I couldnt find anyone after a long search. Desperation was nearing me but not ready to run away, I was losing my self esteem. Just when my life was going down, I saw Chameli. I had a liking on her for sometime. But as fate would make its own rule, it was a let down. She had different level of interests that did not suit me. I could not compromise much for her. To say it simple, I was not happy to find that she was a bit show off and was not worthy of all her talks.

With nothing working my way, I made the drastic decision. Its now or never. One fine morning on a weekend, I just called Alisha and told that I want to meet. I am sure it would have confused her. Long back when I saw her, I knew she was someone. Someone who really will mean something for mel. So I did not think much and went to see her. To be honest, I moment I saw her, I realised that the day is looking bright. And somehow I felt its going to be that day. May be its just that I waited for the time to make it happen. With the day passing with lot of talks and laughs., we made the decision and planned for the official announcement on Monday. I will tell you once the registration is done. The Department of motor vehicles is not open on weekends.

In the order of appearance
Chyrsler Sebring LX as Sebrina
Mercedes Benz SLR McLaren as Brindha
Ferrari Modena as Mona
Porshe Boxster as Poornima
Mitsubishi Eclipse as Eliyana
Mazda 626 as Maya
Toyota Corolla as Chameli
Nissan Altima as Alisha

ROFL...... Applying Satman's car theory, (which is not suitable for explaning here due to my wide range of readers) I had to agree with his analogy between cars and girls. So as a figure of speech, I had made this post in girls' perspective though I am talking about cars. If you had not understood me even after seeing the picture of cars all along, try to read this post again and everything will make sense. There are few lines which would not make sense even after changing the perception. But it doesnt matter as for whom it would matter might not be reading this.

Trivia: Did you notice the difference between the name of cars and girls?
The family name comes before the first name for cars.
For example, Nissan Altima - name of a car and Alisha Nithin - name of a girl.

Wednesday, December 5, 2007

One of the few monsoons in Charlotte

Farewell letter from Saravanan:
Hi All,
My stint in Charlotte is getting over today. It was a real pleasure meeting all you guys.

Yesterday I checked the baggage restrictions in Jet airways and it said 2 bags of 23 kgs and I thought I had way over than that. I always carry well under the limit. Didn't understand initially, why, this time, I was thinking so. But then I realized that really have loads of stuff to take home for which even the whole airbus is not going to suffice. Yup. I am taking with me lots of good memories from here (romba nakkittena...he he).

Thank God! You didn’t take all our good memories. Else it would have gone away with your lost luggage in Brussels itself. he he he he he….

In the life of this Vagabond aka “software engineer working for an Indian IT services company”; I have met a lot of people with each person leaving different impressions in the heart. Some are just a passing cloud not affecting our life in any way. There could also be thunderstorms and cyclones who invade our life torturing every bit that you wish that your lives must not have crossed any time. But there are very few who shower your life with happiness and there by creating refreshing memories that soften your heart creating impressions that are smooth and will last forever.
This post is about one of those monsoon showers.

I had the opportunity to meet the heavy cloud on the same day I landed in Uncle Sam’s land. Though it appeared to be just another cloud earlier, the drizzle it poured on me slowly filled me with peace and ………………….what the heck.

Enough of this sentimental crap. We both know how well we enjoyed the days in Charlotte. Unforgettable were the wonderful tours we went from snow skiing on the first day in US, thrill rides in Florida and long drive in Cadillac to Virginia. And I still can’t forget the big surprise that you guys bought for my birthday; gifting the Sony PSP though I asked for the XBOX 360. I am hoping that we will meet for my next birthday and would be carrying back a PS3 or XBOX720 if released. If there is one that I didn’t get the chance, it would be playing tennis with you. It would have been fun. And thanks for the generous offer for your car though it slipped my hands due to my indecisiveness. I am glad that you didn’t kill me for that. There are more and more to say, but I have to stop as this is again getting sentimental. So I am finishing this post with your trademark.


Sunday, December 2, 2007

Twice Folded Letter - Time to click Good-bye

The twice folded letter in my hand
still stretched out in the position
I had received it from her;
my voice stopped all of a sudden;
Every part of me that is left conscious
sending signals to the brain asking
whether it is a dream; my eyes see
only her walking away from me;
left the brain cells creating visions of
the last 12 months that had every day
with something to say about her.

[+/-]At first sight

The day I started my career. But that is not important now. It was the day, she entered my life. And its also the same day, he crossed my life. I was in the company provided Guest house waiting for the bus to take me to the first step of my career life. I was tensed for the big day ahead. Being the only person from our college to join the company, I was left alone searching for any face that might say hello. The bus honked and I walked to the bus when he crossed me and ran ahead as if catching a running bus. I slipped and almost fell on the road. While hoping no one noticed me, I got into the bus found him sitting on the first seat. And next to him was the only seat left. I took it and we sat silently for a while. I watched around and could realize most of them are new like me. And most importantly, more than half were girls. I wondered if girls are dominating even in this bus, we really should join the equality rights here. When the bus stopped, few more persons got into the bus and everyone were girls. With no place to sit, they have to stand except for the one who got in last. He stood all of a sudden, almost pushing me from my seat and showed her the seat. Now, I have to give my place for others, else it will look look as if I don’t have any manners. As if I am not the only guy to have the thought, few more guys stood giving up the seats for girls. But every guy who stood were staring angrily at him who was shaking his head too much when she thanked him. My anger on him went away the instant I saw her face. Not a bad decision. I smiled at him who was still blushing for her thanks.

[+/-]The clock and the colors

I was trying hard to stay awake in the boring training session and all I have written in my notebook is the title. He rushed to the training hall and hit my back. He dragged the chair and asked "Where is she?". He was late as usual and all he was worried was about her. "Can't you at least say Hello before you can ask about her?" I felt annoyed. "Ok dude. Hello for today and for every day I am here. Now where is she?". He never gets distracted. "10 'o' clock. In white next to Indigo." I replied and looked back at the trainer. He looked towards his right at 2 'o' clock and asked "What color is Indigo?". Not feeling surprised, I just turned his head towards 10 'o' clock and pointed at her. His head did not turned back for the next whole hour. Then he hit my legs hard enough to make me limp for a day and said "She looked at me!". "Freak!" I said and found her looking at everyone in the class bored. Then she saw me seeing her and smiled back at me. We are introduced well to each other as she takes the last seat left in the bus next to me everyday. And please remember that it is his idea of not coming in the bus so that she can find a seat to sit. I rejected his request asking me not to come in the bus so that he can sit next to her.

[+/-]Reflections of a smoking mind

Our company had a peculiar way of assigning the employee number to the trainees that the order did not appear to be in alphabetical, age or college wise. And it happened in a way that she was seated next to me, while he is behind us turned back. Therefore, even if he turns, he will see only the back of us. The troubles he went in switching places were futile as the employee numbers were already stuck in the respective desks. "Hey! I got an idea" he said and moved his system to the right of his desk so that he will be diagonal to her. Then he placed a CD supported by his cigarette lighter at my desk facing her seat and another CD at his desk facing the CD at my desk. So by the reflections theory, he was able to get a blurred ghost image of her seat. He smiled at me as if waiting for me to award a noble prize for that. "I will give you a better idea. Why don’t you sit next to me and appear as if you have doubts all the time.", I asked. But he was quick in his reply to that. "Dude! She would think that I am dumb". "What about me? I already think you are dumb." She returned back to her desk and we turned to each other's desk as if nothing has happened. Her eyes rested on the CD at my desk. To avoid any questions, I took the CD and kept it inside my book. Looking at the cigarette lighter that was holding the CD, she asked "You smoke?". "Why? Does it bother you?" I asked back. "Yeah! I hate men with smoking habit." she said with a displeasing expression. "So do you prefer women smoking?" We laughed and she thought and replied "May be, you are right. Women do look cool when they smoke." His face turned white who was overhearing our chat from behind. There was no use telling him that she was just joking. When I told him that I can never ask what brand she believes to be cool, he started investigating which brand most girls prefer. I would try to leave him whenever he asks the salesmen about "girls-favorite-cigarettes". Anyway, if there is one thing that came good because of her, it was that he stopped smoking from that day. As a non-smoker, I welcomed it very much. My house can at last be a smoke-free zone.

[+/-]You got mail

Our training days are over at last and we were waiting for the posting letter. Everyone had their fingers crossed praying to be put in their home place or anywhere nearer to it while he was there praying in every religion to be placed in the same place as her. I turned around and she was also in prayer watching the mailbox closely. "You got mail" was all everyone was looking for. And then it happened. A cry came from the far end followed by screams at the other end. People were jumping high and congratulating each other. Outlook beeped in my system and I was also jumping high. There were many who looked dejected and few were crying too. And sadly she happened to be one among them. Obviously, the posting was not as she expected. I turned to him and he was still waiting for his mail. It popped out and I found it to be the same as mine, which means it is not the same as hers. She surely would have felt happy if it is the same location as ours. He was looking at her and he felt sad and pinched me. "What is her posting?". I really did not like to answer. So I told him to ask her directly. When we both looked at her, she was looking at us with her sorrowful eyes. She told something to her friend and her friend looked back at us and nodded. Not knowing what they were talking about, I stood there with blank eyes. She came towards us and stood near me. I could feel her cries within her and before she could say anything, he spoke. "So where are you posted?" It was a big surprise to me for it was the very first time, he has ever said more than Hello to her. She looked at him feeling worried. He added, "I am posted in this DC itself. Where are you posted?" His words had a hopeless expectation as if the question was asked even though he knew what the answer would be. She said "Can you swap with me?" softly. Tears were on the verge of leaving her eyes. Even my heart stopped a beat that I would swap places sacrificing myself by becoming a savior for both of them. But I know it is much harder for him. He can not disagree to her for it would be against the nature of his affection to her, but if he agrees, he would have to leave her away to a far away place.

[+/-]Home Sweet Home

"I told you already about that apartment. It is too costly and it will be difficult for us to get bus from there." I was stubborn. We have developed good friendship in the training days and have talked a lot on anything that might relate to her. So when it became clear that the company will provide accommodation only for the training days, I became the obvious choice to him for a roommate. But moving to that apartment in question is unnecessary and I would be wasting most part of my salary as rent. An apartment with swimming pool and lift access to a three storey flat guarded by a security guard is not important to me. But his point is a clear one. When we both were dumb struck at her request asking if he can swap the transfer with her, as if time was on our side, another guy intervened and asked her if she is looking for a swap to our DC. She thanked that guy hundreds of times and even gave a treat in the canteen. When he heard about this, he took it hard saying that he should have agreed to her; because getting a treat from her is worth staying away hundreds of days away from her in hell. To hell with him I thought. And then when the question of finding accommodation came into picture, I recommended that apartment to her as it is a very safe place and many other girls from our company are staying over there. She is sure of fixing that apartment. With no point in talking with him, I threw the paper at him with ads circled on it which I felt suitable for us. He looked into it for a while and said, "May be we should try the one in the K.T street". It is definitely not near her place. Actually, everything I circled in the paper is far from her. Why is he interested in that place? I raised my ear brows. He looked at me casually, stretched his hands and said "We may not live in the same street, but we will live in the same house number 7."I could do nothing but hit my head on the wall.

[+/-]Nice talking to you

Days passed with all of us busy in the projects. As luck was against him, he was assigned to a different project than hers while as the same stroke of luck kicking me hard; I was assigned in her project. This was not good at all. Because apart from helping with her work, I had to explain him about her work in detail and he would raise questions which even the project manager can not answer. The reason is that he is making sure that she is getting work to the level she can handle. If there is anything that he feels difficult for her, he would automatically allocate it to me. I can not disagree with him as the chance of having a good dinner from his cooking is at hand. As she sits adjacent to me we had a lot of hello & smiles and casual talks too. Also, I can listen to all her conversations including her prayers to God whenever she compiles her code. It is always fun to listen her scolding God if the code did not compile successfully. The moment I told him about this cute behavior, he started talking with God every day. "If she can scold God, He must be close to her. So I better familiarize with him” was his response. The phone at her desk started to ring. She picked up and said hello. As part of my spying job, I have to listen to her conversations for hostile entities (boy friends). “Yeah!... Oh! How are you?... I am fine. Thanks…. No no… I am at my desk only.” She sounded casual but with a touch of talking to a stranger. “He is at his desk only. Do you want to talk with him? Sure. Nice talking to you anyway… hey!”. She held the phone towards me. Now who in the world will call her to reach me? I took the receiver and there he was. “Dude! Did you hear that? She said it was nice talking to me.” “Yeah! So?” I was really annoyed. There was a pause and some strange words echoed in my ears which I later realized to be swear words he have reserved for extreme cases only. I disconnected the call and stared back at my screen. “Is that your friend who used to sit behind us in the training lab?” she asked without turning away from her screen. “Yeah! Why?” I acted casual. “Nothing. The voice sounded familiar. That’s all” she sounded casual and got back to compile her code and started praying again. I am surely going to get a big treat if I tell him that she remembered his voice.

[+/-]Riding my bike

"Why am I not invited??" He pulled the plate from me again.
"She did. She told me to invite you too." I pulled the plate.
"But that was just a formality. She never told me directly" The plate was in his hands again.
"May be... I mean may be... she would have called you if you had talked with her before... and talking means more than hi and bye and showing a blushed face." With much force, I pulled the plate away from him while he took the chicken from my plate.
"But you were invited." He said still holding the chicken roast away from me.
"That is because I am sitting next to her in office for the last 3 months"
My eyes were fixed on the chicken all the time. It was a big mistake to tell about her invitation to her sister’s marriage while having dinner. My chicken roast was taken from my plate as he left me like a dog looking at the bone in its master’s hands. I sure have to jump, roll over or catch my tail if I have to get my food.
"I got the invitation only today morning though she is leaving for home tonight." I added desperately trying to get the food.
"What??? She is leaving tonight! Why didn’t you say that to me?"
Oh! Oh! It is another stupid move I made. I did not say anything. I just stared at the chicken roast.
"Which bus is she leaving?"
"The usual one at 10 PM"
Furious, there was only 20 minutes to 10 PM, he dropped the chicken on my plate immediately and ran to the room. Greeted with the greatest gift, I started eating the chicken trying to finish it before he takes it again. After few seconds, he came all dressed up with a key in his hand.
"Hey! That’s my bike. Only I will drive with that. That’s the rule." I shouted.
He just stared back at me and I understood that there are more chicken pieces left and I should keep quiet if I want it. So with priorities set properly, I decided to take two more chicken pieces.
When I had not even finished the first chicken my phone started to ring. It was her number. Things have changed a lot lately. She has become a good friend to me and we used to chat often in phone. She has told about her family, friends, her experiences in life and even the love letters she had received in college days. For some reason, I did not tell him about the love letters. I picked the phone and said "Hi! Where are you? I thought you are going home tonight."
"Yeah! I am in the bus stop. The bus is delayed and I was bored. So I thought I will bore you for sometime."
"No problem. You can try your best. But I will get bored only when you disconnect the line."
"That’s funny." She giggled.
"Anyway, sorry for not able to come to the marriage. Unfortunately, I couldn’t show the invitation as certificate for the only sick leave left."
"That’s ok. I understand." she replied.
Not knowing what to speak about, I kept quiet while she too did the same. With few minutes passing without any words, she said "hey, I think the bus has arrived. Gotta go. Bye" and disconnected the call.
And then almost immediately, my phone rang again and it was his number.
"Where are you idiot?" I asked.
"On the road only. Now listen. Where are the vehicle registration papers?" he asked in a hurry.
"What do you mean? They are in my shelf only. Wait a minute. Don’t tell me that you are caught by the police."
But he was not listening to me at all. He just said "Why would you keep it in home?..... Leave it. I will take care" and disconnected.
I just stood wondering what I could do to help him. After all he is riding my bike. With no idea coming from my mind, I decided to take a break. After 15 minutes of finishing the first chicken, before I could get any ideas, he called me. "Dude! Don’t worry about me. I am fine. It just cost 200 bucks this time."
"Who the hell cares about you? I am just worried about my bike. Where the hell are you?" I shouted at him not able to understand his cool behavior even after being caught by the police.
"On the way dude." He was answering while driving. "listen. She called me and the bus would have probably arrived already. So just return back." "Damn! If it was not for that ________________ (better left unfilled) I would have got her. That ________ (close your eyes and ears again) spoiled all my plans. I was really irritated by his behaviors. For one, there is no plan. All he would do is stare at her from far away which would mostly beyond a sniper range. At most, he would pass her fast in the bike behaving like he never knew her and will make sure she never notices him. So the words about losing her because of the policeman was like India losing the cricket match because the ball was white in color. It doesn’t make any sense. "Whatever. Are you coming back or not?" I asked. "Dude! I am letting this go away. I will catch her in the next stop and come back only after seeing her" "What the hell are you talking about man?? Just come...." That’s when I heard a loud horn followed by shouting noises and the phone went dead. It all happened in a fraction of a second that I was still talking in the phone with half of my mind saying that he probably can’t hear me. The phone is dead after all. I stood frozen for few minutes not knowing what to do. Trying his number again and again though I knew nobody would pick it up. After several tries, his phone started to ring and he answered the call. "Dude! You bike is a mess. I think you have to go to office in bus for the next week"
"To hell with the bike! Are you alright? "I was completely confused how he can talk nuts at this time. Anyway it just made me feel that he is ok.

[+/-]The greatest deed

With the bike still in the ER with the mechanic for more than a week, we got the last company bus to office and were standing all the way in the traffic. He was still looking worried talking to himself on his lost opportunity of getting her due to his encounter with the traffic police. And that’s when my mobile rang and it was she at the other end. “Hi. Whats up?” I said. “Why are you late today?” She asked. Her voice was very low and was not clear due to the traffic. I turned back to him who was in his own world filled with miseries. “Nothing. I woke up late after the big booze yesterday night.” “Really! You should have called me.” She said. “Sure. We have one more bottle in our house. Do you want to try?” I commented back. She giggled and added “So that’s why you and your friend still appear to be in drowsy state.” It stuck immediately that she is also in the same bus and I turned all around but was not able to find her. When I was raising my head to look at the far end, someone pulled my hand from behind and it was she smiling at me. She had been sitting just behind me and very next to him all the time. My minds raced back if we had mentioned anything about her in the bus and relaxed as we did not. Surprisingly, a seat was available next to her and she moved in to give me some space. He was in his world all the time not realizing how close she was sitting next to him. Though I first wanted to avenge him for crashing the bike, with my good soul interrupting me and not ready to get angry faces from him, I spoke in the phone in low voice, “Do you mind him taking that seat. He is still not feeling well.” She hesitated a little. “Don’t worry. He is harmless like me” I told her. She giggled and said “That’s ok.” I shook him and showed him the seat. When he came back to the real world and his eyes fixed on her and his face was getting red and I was trying hard to suppress the laugh looking at his bizarre stare at her. He took the seat and saw her watching the traffic through the window and turned back giving me a big smile that had thanks written in red all over. I could sense some romantic song singing through his ears. I smiled back like the Almighty except without any halo behind the head. I just hoped he never finds out that I told her that he drinks alcohol.

Time to click Good-bye
I was at my desk trying to do some work and when I heard her saying “Yeah! He is here. Hold on a second. Nice talking to you.” I turned and took the phone from her. “Of course, I got that.” I told him before he could repeat about her nice-talking-to-you words. “What’s up now?” I asked him impatiently. I have to finish of five more modules before leaving to the other DC on a short term transfer. “Nothing. Just wanted to see if she is there. Bye!” he said. “Great! Bye” I replied and disconnected the call. I got back to my work and within few minutes a light flashed across the room. To my surprise and shock, he was there with a camera in hand. “Just thought that we should take a photo together before you leave.” he said loud enough for her to hear. She turned around to see us while he looked only at me as if he did not notice her even if it means staring straight into my eyes. Then he looked in all sides trying to find someone to take photo of us and by chance he appeared to have found her looking at us and asked “Could you please take a photograph of us?” She got the camera and focused at us. One can easily say he was staring right into the camera lens. I was glad he was staring only at the camera lens. At least that’s what it appeared to be. Once she took the snap, “Dude! You know what? You should have photo with everyone here before you go. Something that can remind you how great and wonderful people around here are” he spoke like rehearsing for a play in front of the mic. And with similar dramatic pose, he looked at her and turned back to me giving a classic look, “We must take a photo with her.” Before I could wonder where “WE” came from, she replied “Yeah! I will like that”. Now not ready to get any more damage, I just did what he said and walked next to her while he adjusted the camera for a self timer shot. I could clearly see that he have kept me out of the focus area. With me grinning at him as he smirked back trying to get the perfect shot of her with the imaginative wolf standing next to her; there came the villain to the scene. “You can join. I will take the photo for you.” It was our Project manager who is always ready to help us. “Any problem, come to me. There will be no problem” are his famous words. Not able to refuse, he gave the camera and stood next to her. Still happy to have his photo taken with her, he gave a big smile for the photo. Later, his plans of cropping me out of the photo did not work as our no-problem PM had covered the flashlight and everything was dark in the picture. More strange words echoed back in our room for which I do not want to know the meaning ever in my lifetime. By the way, I did not tell him that she asked for that photo next day.

More memories to be recalled.....