No more excuses

OK. I definitely have to write something today. All my excuses that I can use to not write blogs are not available now. As you may remember, it is one of my new year resolution too. With Chini and Junior so far by 8432 miles from me, and sitting alone in home on a long weekend with no interest to do any work and no good movies to watch in theatre, I realize that I have to do this. Redbox movies, Netflix and good lazy sleep can keep me occupied only for so much time. And my recent curiosity to learn the art of cooking has suprisingly turned simple and easy to accomplish that I actually made Channa masala while talking on phone with my mom in a record 15 minutes and Brinjal curry in unbelievable 10 minutes. Just read about my mushroom biryani adventure if you dont understand my excitement. And the food turned out to be edible and I am eating it. So with nothing else to do, I pushed myself to write something here.

Though, logically speaking (or writing), I can finish this post as I have already written something, I am pushing myself to write few meaningful words.

1. It is boring to be all alone in a 2 bed room apartment.

2. Chini and Junior had kept me occupied all the time. Now it seems so different not to have  both of them even to greet me when I return home from work.

3. We have put up furnitures and Junior's stuff for sale. It pains a little to sell something that Junior used a lot.

4. Zero Dark Thirty is way thrilling than Argo. It really deserved the best picture Oscar. Wondering why it was given to Argo.

5. In the age of Video games having great storyline, Resident Evil movie series keeps creeping out in storyline. Someone finish the movie series and better start with a reboot.

6. Where there is will, there is way. When there is no other way, you learn to cook.

7. Psych drama wanted to be Sherlock. But it turned out to be Tinkle's Shikkari Shambu and Siruvar malar's Inspector Vijay comic strips. Silly but addicted.

8.  I have lot of things in my mind to expand my photography craziness. That includes Nikon 24-70 f2.8 lens, Nikon SB910 flash and an indoor photo studio setup to shoot portraits. (I wonder whose)

9. It feels good to write this post. But I am thinking hard to complete with 10 points.

10. And there we go. 10 points.

The usual suspects for 2013

So it's New Year... once again. I think Time is only thing that seems to proceed as per the plan. Of course, I am ignoring Einstein's theory of relativity as we are talking about reality and not relativity. 366 days since the beginning of last year and many things have changed. Some positive on the personal side and many negative on the outside. But lets leave the ranting about the past for some other post. Coming to the point, New Year is always an auspicious day for making resolutions. Resolutions that are many times forgotten and sometimes made as a reference for the next New Year's list. That does not stop one from making it every year unless you are Calvin who has a strong feeling against resolutions.

Here are the usual suspects that i have decided to take up for this year 2013.

1. Reduce weight - I think this tops  the list of 90% of all people around the world and it deserves to be in the top of my list too.

2. Keep Blogging - I wish I could have shared more of my thoughts through my blog in 2012. A lot of interesting and memorable events to be captured. A lot of happenings to be analyzed and argued. But I did not do it with the usual words "I was busy with.. etc.. etc..". Lets try to rectify that this year. Shall we?

3. Dont Procrastinate - As someone said, "Procrastination is the bad habit of putting of until the day after tomorrow what should have been done the day before yesterday". If I keep up with this resolution, I probably can maintain all of my other resolutions. 

4. Stay Connected - This resolution is made not just to keep myself connected in Facebook, Twitter, Linkedin, Google+, Foursquare...... Its for staying connected in the real world too.

5. Write a Story - Ah! The special resolution that I forced myself into. This would be the achievement of the year... if I complete it.

The list might seem short. But I have a long way to go to achieve each and everyone of it. So cheers! Here is to a focussed and productive New Year!

The Sky falls

What makes Bond, James Bond? Is it the guns? Women? Perhaps Style? Or may be "Martini. Shaken not stirred!"? The truth is that it includes all that brings James Bond to life. You have it all in Skyfall including something off the menu - Family. As much as I hate to say it, it totally negates what Bond means to us. We are taken for a ride into the early life of The ruthless deadly charming Spy and the story goes more personal instead of the usual "Oh-God-Save-The-World-Bond".

With the reboots that are being done in every movie franchise we have loved including Batman, Superman, Star Trek, and spiderman though I keep asking why for the latter web-crawler, the producers seem to have conceived the idea that bringing emotions and personality to the legendary characters can turn the reboots to a Gold mine. It worked for Batman perfectly, thanks to Christopher Nolan and to a good level in Star Trek by JJ Abrams. But one must keep in mind about Superman Returns and The Amazing Spiderman. It was just not enough. Reboots need more than emotions to work. Now Skyfall too falls into this category of needing more. It appears the producers sacrificed everything that Bond was for history that is totally uncalled for.

This is very much apparent when they chose Sam Mendes to direct the film. To put bluntly, Director Bala has been asked to remake Kamal's Kurudhipunal. An excellent director but put in the wrong place. Sam Mendes, well known for his American Beauty and emotional mafia movie "Road to Perdition" did what he knows best. Made the actors feel. But you must not ask James Bond to do that. Especially making him cry with X lying dead in his hands. He definitely needs to watch the previous Bond movies.

Talking about the movie without prejudice on the 22 Bond films before this, you can call the movie as done well. Not a great one. But not bad indeed. You have the fast action sequences, proof of license to kill, a dangerous villain, explosions and ladies too. But like what a friend said in facebook, you tend to doubt if it is Jason Bourne or James Bond that you see. (Was it a coincidence that both the names have initials JB?)

A devoted fan of all bond films, even for ill-fated Moon Raker (Cant forget the line "Oh! he had to fly!") to the explosive Quantum of Solace (Friend of yours? I dont have any friends), this was not impressive. Lets face it. Casino Royale was a reboot. A perfect one. A newly promoted 007 learning to become the ruthless Spy. Then they added destructiveness and cold-heart in Quantum of Solace. We loved it and so we expected more in Skyfall. But then you feel cheated! We are finally told that James Bond is getting rebooted again. And this time back to its origins. Right to the movie that started it all. Dr.No from 1962. For Gun's sake, we did not ask for this.

By the way, whats the reason behind the smirk on the villain's face when he reads the gravestone of Bond's parents. Something to be implied there? If that is true, they better remove that scene from the movie, as it makes one wonder if Sam Mendes met with Bharathi Raja for the movie.

Skyfall - falls out of the sky. 6/10

Trivia: I just thought if Eva Mendes is related to Sam Mendes. Turns out, they are related as close as Lal Bahadhur Shastri and Ravindra Shastri. ;) Just a coincidence it seems.

What is cooking today?

So I waited as the cooker was letting out steam slowly. Very slowly. It has just started cooking. Atleast I think it is cooking. I verified the stove and it was on. Five minutes and I am still waiting. I heard someone saying that it might take a while, so let me say whats cooking. With Chini away in India enjoying mom made breakfast, lunch and dinner and fresh juices in between, I decided to take the bold step to cook; something I rarely do from the time Big bang happened. You know when the everything came out of nothing! Nothing related though.

Anyway, after making few attempts like chutneys and Chicken curries (see in Facebook ;) ), I decided on the ultimate dish of Mushroom biryani. As always, I thought it is going to an easy day.

The morning had started long before I woke up and I met it only around 11 AM. Chini has already called twice and it was time to begin the weekend now. So without much ado, i started to make preparations for biryani. Chini dictated the recipe in exact metric units. Similar to Parthiban questioning Vadivelu the value of “a punch”, I am always ridiculed by the measurement terms like “a pinch” or “little”. How much really is a pinch? is it 2 grams or 5 grams? Or does it depend upon the density of what we are measuring? And there is always a difference in the value of pinch based on who is taking it right. And what is the size of little? There is ‘little’ Stuart in the size of a mouse and he says he eats large Gold fish biscuit which if you ask me is “little”. Chini already annoyed with my questioning decided to make it simple. All measurements will always be in cups or teaspoons. (she confirmed i need to measure to the top flat level)

After getting the recipe from Chini, it is time to get all ingredients. She already informed me that Biryani masala powder is there in home and i just need to get Onions, tomato and mushrooms. I could use Sona Masoori rice instead of Basmati. But suddenly my stomach started to say something. I am Hungry and it is 12 PM already. So I decided to have lunch outside and then get the ingredients on the way. After much searching for a quick bite, I found the only food I have appetite for is Biryani. But that is not going to be ready for another 2 hours (if I start in the next 5 minutes). So I went to Rice ‘n’ Roti and got non vegetarian meals with Chicken biryani and “Mushroom” curry. Filled with heavy lunch, I then decided to take a rest.

Relaxed on the couch after watching Jim playing pranks on Dwight, I finally decided to get back to “Mushroom” biryani at around 3 PM. Cooker on the stove and ghee hot in it. I chopped the onions and started frying in the cooker. As soon as it turned Golden brown, I added the half tomato mixing it continuously to avoid sticking to the bottom. That is when I realized I need to search for masala powder. Going through the kitchen shelf, refrigerator and the oven, I found that I cannot find the powder which means that it isn’t there in home. You know what that means? It means it is NOT going to be an easy day.

Now is a hard choice to make. I either run to the grocery store and get the masala before the onion burns or I could throw away the onions and buy mushroom biryani from the restaurant near by. I could not take the second choice as I do not like that restaurant much. So switching off the stove, I drove fast to the grocery store and found biryani masala for 2 dollars. The problem now is the Indian grocery stores do not accept credit card for below 5 dollars purchase and unfortunately I did not have any cash. So I hunted for 3 dollars worth food and I found only the raw materials for making food. Another trouble. After searching all the aisles, I found Parampara, something much closer to finished food. Returning back to home, I continued the operation. After adding 4 teaspoons of Biryani masala powder and constant stirring, it started smelling good. It really is going to be good. Next ingredient on the line was 3 cups of water. My fear that if you think everything is going good, it means there is something wrong altogether just got real. I had used the small cooker of 3 liter size which will become full if I add 3 cups of water. Now I have to transfer all the contents from the small cooker to the larger cooker. Tired of making stupid mistakes, I did what I had to do.

Everything transferred, I then started washing rice. And that is when I realized that I could have bought basmati rice when I went to the grocery store. Biryani would be very tasty with basmati rice. And that is also when I realized I could have bought basmati rice for 3 dollars instead of Parampara mix. Thinking all that I could have done, I washed the available Sona Masoori rice and just when I was about it mix it, I found mushroom lying on the side - uncut, unwashed, uncooked and obviously un-mixed. Damn. And so the large cooker was put on low heat, and I started frying the mushrooms in the small cooker. After 15 minutes and 1 hour since I started cooking, I realized I am finally closer to finishing it. After multiple checks on the recipe and thinking many times on what more mistakes could be made in making of mushroom biryani, i finally added the rest of the ingredients including washed rice, fried mushrooms and 1 teaspoon of salt for taste. Everything added, I closed the lid and put on the whistle and I waited.

PS: By the time I finished writing this, the cooker has already made 5 whistles asking me to take it off the hot stove. Mushroom biryani is finally ready and is waiting for any volunteers to taste it.

PPS: After much contemplation and some encouragement from Chini, I took the task myself and tasted it.

PPPS: I did it. Mushroom biryani smells, feels and tastes like Mushroom biryani. seriously guys, It is real good and I am going to keep it all for myself.

Action Army - An Action movie

I have been thinking about this movie for the past 20 years. And that was when I started watching our Tamil heroes super action movies. It was when I was introduced to super power megablasting stars like Sathyaraj, Vijaykanth and many others. And it was not just the 80s that were awesome, Indian James Bond JaiSankar also made me rethink about the song and sentiments dominated tamil film industry. Finally this story is going to bring all these heroes together for us now.

The movie starts with our hero one and only Vijaykanth who is living in PattiveeranPatti talking on phone with Airtel customer care representative. He says “Hello”. The lightning strikes in the background. And we enter for the title song. Lot of girls are dancing with cellphone in their hand pointing it like a gun. The lyrics goes like “He is the new iPhone 4. Powered by open Android. He is a Robo. He says Hello” and our Hero keeps on saying hello with different phones while wearing bluetooth headset on the other ear.

The movie continues. “yema ponnu, ithu ennoda 400avathu call.” speaks Vijaykanth.
“No sir. Our records show this is only your 3rd call to us.”comes back the reply. The sweet voice belongs to the college going part time working school dress wearing Nayantara.

“Ennaku athu theriyatha. Naan sonnathu intha mobila naan pannikirukira motha calls. But unga billula 410 calls bill pannirukeenga. Yennu theringukalama?”

“Of course sir. But why are you worried about 10 calls and wasting 20 minutes of everyone’s time. For wasting all these time, you could have commented to 100 persons in Facebook. Oh sorry! I think you village man would not know what facebook is” Nayantara replies back bored to getting stuck with an old voice.

Vijaykanth simply smiles and starts talking.
“Facebook was invented by Mark Zuckerberg in 2004.
Now it has a total of 500 million active users.
In 20 minutes, following happens in Facebook.
Tagged photos: 1.3 million
Event invites sent out: 1.5 million
Wall Posts: 1.6 million
Status updates: 1.8 million
Friend requests accepted: 1.97 million
Photos uploaded: 2.7 million
Messages: 4.6 million 
Comments: 10.2 million
Nayantara is now mesmerized and falls in love with Vijaykanth. But before she could speak anything the call disconnects. Our hero just sensed bad guys in his house. He goes to the kitchen and finds that all knifes and utensils are gone. He has nothing but a Coke bottle to fight with. He smiles and takes it out to the hall. Out of nowhere, 100 gangsters surround him with AK 47. Vijaykanth shakes the coke bottle vigorously. Everyone starts laughing. Then all of a sudden, he releases the cap and the compressed fizz comes out of the bottle and starts attacking everyone like a fire engine water hose. All villains are caught in surprise and they die to the powerful Coke. After the fizz gets over, the remaining guys start shooting. Vijayakanth deflects the bullets with the empty bottle and kills the final bad guy by throwing the bottle at his mouth.
Realizing that the Secret Indian Crime Kommittee wants him dead and must have been planning for a long time, he drives to Chennai to save Nayantara who he is in Love with. Why else would he wanted to call Airtel Customer care and talk about 10 calls for 20 minutes.
Nayantara is still in office trying to work, but starts dreaming. The first duet song starts. “Hello caller. I Love you Kalvar. Oh Dark knight. It is a dark night.” Vijaykanth is seen walking around Nayantara who keeps on changing dresses every second.” When she wakes up, her shift is over and she leaves the office. While walking back home through dark alley, 10 guys start chasing her and start shooting with AK47. It is the SICK guys alright. If you did not notice, SICK stands for Secret Indian Crime Kommittee. Nayantara runs off with high heels and short skirt and falls into the arms of one and only Vijaykanth. This time, with no coke around, he fights with Aquafina water bottle taken from Nayantara’s bag and kills all 10 of them with the final one choked by covering the water bottle over his head.
Vijaykanth tells that he was the person who called her in the morning. Surprisingly, she starts loving him more and more. They both then travel to see his senior secret CID agent JaiSankar. JaiSankar and Vijaykanth had worked together for SICK and are retired now. JaiSankar lives as a school teacher preaching Ahimsa for 2 second standard students. Seeing each other after long years, they talk about their past and tears drop from JaiSankar’s eyes. They soon realize the killings relate to a very old mission in SriLanka. Nayantara points out a newspaper that mentions that a female journalist was killed in an accident recently and another column about young man who was wearing a kurta and jeans pant was also shot dead. Vijaykanth and Nayantara goes to visit the female journalist’s parents. They know the young man was shot dead for his bad dress taste.

The mother of the journalist is Manoramo aachi and she speaks about her life and Amma and finally says that her daughter’s laptop, computer and iphone were taken away by AK47 yielding policemen the night her daughter was killed. Lucky for our hero, they left iPad because they couldn’t decide whether to classify it as a gigantic phone or laptop. While they were wondering where to find clues about the killings, Nayantara realizes that there is an App for that. So with few taps and swipes she retrieved a list of people’s names. Vijaykanth was impressed and he loves her more.
Unable to figure out what the list means, Vijaykanth decides he has to meet the action King. Once considering himself as the reincarnation of Bruce Lee, this action King became a discipline of Superhero Vijaykanth very soon and carried out several missions for the nation mostly by jumping and punching the villains for he is short. Action King Arjun also happens to be the most knowledgeable person of all SICK activities. Though old now, he believes himself to be still an young soldier and tries hard jumping higher and higher. Arjun figures out that the persons in the list belong to the team that carried out a secret mission in Srilanka 25 years ago.
In the mean time, CBI officer Jayam Ravi is given the order by his boss Nagma to kill Vijaykanth immediately. Jayam Ravi as a loyal officer agrees to shoot our hero and salutes her. He sets up a trap in a night club where Vijaykanth, Arjun and Nayantara are having dinner. Arjun always vigilant figures out the trap and dances on the stage to distract the CBI officers. Shreya who happens to be dancer for the hotel also dances with him with clothes as minimum as possible. Threatened by the screen time, Nayantara pulls Vijaykanth to the stage and all four dance to an item song. “I am hungry. I eat Jangery. Aadi pada vaa nee”. At the end of the song, Arjun cuts off the lights and Shreya helps them run through the dark while the officers search for the torch light. Remember Vijaykanth need not carry torch light. He has night vision eyes by birth. But when Jayam Ravi using iPhone app for torch light fires a bazooka at them, Vijaykanth gets in the middle and saves Nayantara even though he gets hurt on the arm while deflecting it.
Hurt and running from the CBI, army and SICK people, our heroes reach the Lady Superstar Vijayasanthi’s house who was a police officer once and had beaten up rowdies and corrupt politicians for long time. She treats Vijaykanth’s wounds which got transferred from right arm where he was hurt originally to left arm. Nayantara feeling sad about the wound cry holding his right arm while the wound is transferred again to left arm. They sing for the next song in Alaska. Nayantara shows she is a strong person by showing well in the snow. Vijaykanth just smiles and walks in Pink colored coat.
With JaiSankar returning to the group and the action team grown stronger to five including Vijaykanth, Nayantara, Arjun and Vijayashanthi, they decide that they have to go to CBI office to find more information. And the only person who knows how to get inside is the ex-ISI agent Mansor Ali Khan who was also lover of Vijayashanthi. But she had to shoot him to show her loyalty to Indian Police. Hurt both in body and heart Mansor has become bit mentally ill and is always seen with uncombed hair and speaking drunk. Also an enemy to Vijaykanth and Arjun and was hunted for many crimes including smuggling, terrorism and for being simply crazy, they knew it is a difficult but the only choice they have. Unwilling to help first, Mansor finally agrees so that he can see his lost love at last.
Together as a team, they infiltrate CBI building and gets the secret documents from Documents Keeper Charu Hassan who patiently tell them that he is counting on them for bringing out the truth to the world. After fierce fighting and blowing up the whole building, the action team leaves unharmed. Jayam Ravi was hurt in the battle but starts to think that Vijaykanth might be a good guy and questions Nagma. Nagma wearing high make up and low cut blouse warns him not to question her and just follow the orders. He dreams about his past with Nagma when they were lovers until she gets promoted and dumps him. He remembers the good old days dancing for a song in Africa.
With the new information, they find that only one person other than Vijaykanth is still alive. That is Sathyaraj now a Mayor and about to become the next chief minister. The secret mission in Srilanka was to extract Sathyaraj who was on peace mission was caught misbehaving with local people there and was eventually held as prisoner. Fearing that the news might affect his political future, he is killing all the persons involved. The team confront Sathyaraj in a forest bungalow in Ooty and ask him to surrender. But lying that he is innocent, he escapes from the heroes. Vijayashanthi and Nayantara who are watching from outside the bungalow realize it is a trap and they are surrounded by CBI officers. Jayam Ravi calls Vijaykanth and asks him to surrender so that nobody will be killed. “Surrender. That is the only word I never like in any language” replies back our hero and they start fighting. Hundreds of CBI and army men fight against our three heroes who fight with pistols, swords and throwing back the grenades. There are even replays for the best catches and throws by our heroes and the verdict is always OUT. After enraging gun battle, heroes finally escape only to leave JaiSankar shot dead in the end and Nayantara gets captured by Jayam Ravi.
Wounded and worried about the loss of their dear senior friend, Arjun and Vijaykanth sing a patriotic inspiring song along with Vijayashanthi and they decide that they will fight to death to bring out the truth. Nayantara in the mean time was tortured by Nagma. Nagma threatens to kill Vijaykanth if she does not tell her where Vijaykanth is. Nayantara gets confused whether she should consider Nagma as a real CBI officer or not. When Nagma was trying to torture her more, she gets a call from Vijaykanth. He challenges her that he is going to kidnap Sathyaraj in a ceremony that night.
The CBI protected ceremony opens with Anuska dance on the stage and Jayam Ravi keeps on talking on his walkie talkie asking everyone to be alert. Sathyaraj mesmerized by Anuska walks to the stage to congratulate her performance. With a surprising twist, Anuska removes her face mask revealing it was Vijaykanth dancing all along. The fight starts again and Vijaykanth escapes with Sathyaraj by breaking the wall with his fist and making his own way to the escape van driven by Arjun. Vijayashanthi gets hurt in the middle of the fight and when she is about to be killed by 3 CBI officers, Mansor AliKhan saves her and carries her away safe.
For the final showdown, Vijaykanth arranges an exchange of Sathyaraj for Nayantara in an abandoned warehouse. Jayam Ravi’s doubt that he might not be on the good side gets cleared when he reads the documents left by Vijaykanth for him. He switches side in the last minute and the fight reaches the climax with Arjun and Jayam Ravi fighting the bad guys; Nayantara fighting Nagma and Vijaykanth kicking Sathyaraj’s ass. Sathyaraj captures Nayantara and threatens Vijaykanth and says “Yenn Character-iye Purinjika Matengiriye”. Vijaykanth gets very angry and starts speaking for 15 minutes continuously. Sathyaraj becomes deaf and surrenders and Nagma turns good and falls on Jayam Ravi’s legs. The film ends with Vijaykanth & Nayantara, Vijayashanthi & Mansor, Jayam Ravi & Nagma walking away followed by Arjun and Shreya who just happens to be a dancer in a bar near by.


Postnotes:

• This is not a original story. I would never think like this. It is just a remake of the english movie RED.
• There was a tough competition on who to cast for Jayam Ravi’s character. But for remakes, who else will be suitable better.
• I would have considered Rajnikanth and Kamal, but the movie is about retired people and we know they never retire.
• RED was actually a good film to watch. While the director rightly termed it as Action comedy, our Kollywood would simply release it as action movie which would be comedy for the viewers.
• If you have read the story and still reading, you are the biggest jobless person in the world. As for me, what to do? I am bored and alone as Chini is enjoying her vacation in India.

Resident Evil: Afterlife - Breathing in the third dimension

Raise your right hand and repeat after me. "Resident Evil is a movie made from a game. I know this is not a movie like Matrix. I will expect neither story nor logic for the next 97 minutes. I will purely enjoy the action and special effects which ever is thrown at me. ALICE."

Good. Now you are all set to enjoy the fourth installment of Resident Evil film which is based on Resident Evil games series. As I have not played the game series, I will not comment on how much it lives up to the game fans. Instead, as a viewer of all the previous movies and a fan of Part 1, I can assure you that Afterlife is really awesome. If the second and third parts had lowered your interest in Resident Evil, think again. They have done it right this time. The main reason I can say that is because of the 3D. As published in the trailers, they have used James Cameron's Fusion Camera System which he used in Avatar and the results are awesome. Though you might feel that they have overdone it to show everything in 3D, I actually liked it. Especially the rain which is shown so many times in the movie.
Coming to the story, it keeps you guessing all the time. Don't take it as suspense. It is the director's indecision on how to take his characters ahead.
While the ending of the previous film (Extinction) promised a war with army of cloned ALICEs, you are given little treatment of it. Instead, few other characters emerge and few new monsters show up to bite you. And whatever characters included in the movie both recurring and new have nothing more to do than shoot, kill and die. Ali Carter as Claire is good to watch fighting the Executioner. But I knew I cannot expect more as ALICE as the protagonist have to face the camera and say "I am gonna kill you" every 5 minutes. Sometimes, it even reminded me of Viay.
After a series of gun fights and monster kills in "Left 4 Dead" style and even a dog crossed with Alien, you feel very much satisfied with this movie. Only regret is that they could have made more Executioners. Loved the gigantic axe yielding monster very much. May be we will find more in the sequel (of course, it is a never ending franchise) as Afterlife ends with Jill leading an assault fleet in control of the Evil Umbrella Corporation.

Overall, a movie other than Avatar to have lived up (sometimes better) to the 3D experience.

Lets put a smile on that face

It surprises me to think that less than a millimeter thickness is all that is different between sharp and the blunt edge of a knife. In general, knife or a dagger is a beautiful invention of human kind. It acts as the creator as well as the destroyer depending upon who yields it. Even as a kid, I always like to play with knifes. A swift cut on the carrot slicing it neatly into two is a favorite pass time of mine. That is why I was a good kid always ready to help my mom in the kitchen with cutting and dicing the vegetables. And that is why my skills in cooking ends with cutting the vegetables. I am glad my mom restricted my chores to cutting only vegetables and fruits, for if I was given the honor to cutting the meat pieces as a kid, a slasher movie named “INJEY hostel” would be made will be a small exaggeration only.
A lover of Kill Bill, but calm at heart I channeled my cutting skills to aesthetic purposes like vegetable and fruit carving. I started creating wedged tomatoes and guavas, onion rings and served watermelon as balls instead of slices. The art of road side cucumber sellers in making flower style cuts on a single cucumber dividing them into two and each looking as if it is a whole cucumber astonished me greatly. Even if you call it as just cheating, I call it artfully cheating. And for the petty money they make, I do not complain them.
While my largest passion and career choice (computers) called for cut, copy and paste, I did not enjoy it as much as cutting vegetables (NOTE: I meant cut,copy and paste only). After landing in US, my eyes dropped on cutting only one object and every October I felt very close to reaching it. Unfortunately, my enthusiasm was not shared by others around me and I had to wait 3 years before getting the chance finally. And so this year, I finally bought my first pumpkin to carve. It was not without many hurdles and “NO” that I had to fight hard to get the small sized pumpkin. Chini’s argument was that it is a Christian festival. I went “huh?”. After heavy persuasive discussions and threatening that I will not eat pumpkin forever and finally after getting the support of Tommy boy’s girl (who was equally opposed by Tommy boy), I got the one that I was longing for a long time.
The day of carving did not come early though as the auspicious date and time to cut a pumpkin was not found in the calendar and we had to wait a week since getting the pumpkin. So it stood smiling for a week with sharp teeth and Rajini’s hair that I had drawn on it. And one good sunday, the time did come and with little help from youtube, we started to give new face for our orange friend. And it definitely was a wonderful experience right from cutting the scalp and scooping out of the juicy and sticky pulp inside. [Warning: Please do not imagine human head for a pumpkin. The things we are going to do will make you throw up.] When we could not clean the inside with the ice cream scoop which finally was broken by over-enthusiastic Tommy boy, we had to use the hands. This is where Chini did a wonderful job and cleaned all the long thin fibers sticking out of the inner wall. And Tom had cleaned it very much that it was as smooth as the inside of a skull.
With the pulp out, now it is time for serious carving. We did not have to sketch the eyes for our pumpkin as we had drawn it earlier. I pressed the knife edge over the left eye and pushed it slowly to keep the hole small. After three simple cuts, a triangular piece feel off from the face what was an eye before. More care was taken when removing the right eye as we did not want the pumpkin to end with squint eyes. This was more tough for tom, as they are carving the eyes for the first time. Coming down to the mouth which really is the toughest part of all as any mistake in that will make the pumpkin toothless. With multiple styles replaced we went for the regular 3 teeth on top and bottom and Chini took on the task as she considers teeth to be precious. Believe me when I say it for I try hard every day to find a way to escape from multi-time brushing of teeth daily. After long careful cuts and small adjustments on the left and right making the mouth wide more open than planned, the pumpkin was finally done.
We did wash it with water and polished its face with Crisco Vegetable oil. Imagining it now, it is like wiping the face with your own blood. I am feeling guilty for being so cruel. And finally to complete celebration, we lit up a candle inside and saw the bright light out of the open eyes and mouth and also the small nose we pierced in the end. And there it was. Our Pumpkin shining for the Halloween celebration boo-ing away the ghosts and burning more than we wanted as the candle fire ignited the oil lining on the inside of the pumpkin.