Friday, October 20, 2006

Honey! Lets Break Up

************************ DISCLAIMER************************
As always, this is a pure fictional story that my right brain created out of pure imagination. Resemblance to any real life incident or real person is coincidental and the author(thats me) can not take any responsibility for any of your assumptions.

The alarm started ringing exactly at 6:09AM. At least the alarm is doing what I wanted. I am happy about that at least. But why I kept the alarm at 6:09 is for a reason. Today will be my 10th attempt. All my previous attempts to say "Honey! Lets break up" was a failure. The one that happened at 6:05AM was the worst. I said "Honey! Lets marry up" instead. And she was in seventh heaven. I was in hell of course. Why in the world did I say that? Yeah. I remember. She was wearing the pink dress I brought her and I just couldn't come out of the mind that she was looking beautiful than ever. I was very careful on 6:08AM day and told her particularly not to wear anything that I had commented to be beautiful for her. She said something that I can never forget that my imaginations ran wild and I hit the bed and slept for hours trying to get rid of the imagination. And that was the end of 6:08AM day. Anyway, think its enough thinking of the past. I have to see if I can make it today at the least.
I went to the shower and turned on the hot water. I stood still as the warm water took away the drowsiness from my body. I felt relaxed. Standing in hot water always helped me overcome my tensions. I practiced saying the words again. "Honey…. Honey….. lets brick up… no no… lets break up.. lets break up… lets break up… L-E-T-S B-R-E-A-K U-P…..lets break up………HONEY! LETS BREAK UP" Yes. Yes. I think this will work out good. I am already feeling good. Completely refreshed, I came out and got ready for the day. Then I went down to make toast for breakfast. I placed two bread slices on the toaster and opened the fridge to take out the jam and took out the Pineapple flavor without any thought. Then only I released I shouldn't have taken it. She likes this flavor very much. You idiot. You should learn from your mistakes. This was the reason for the failure of 6:04AM day. I kept it back and took blackberry flavor instead. I think she hates it. Good choice. The day is already looking better.

I got on my Pulsar and put on the key and placed the bet again. It will be success if the bike starts on the first try itself. I closed my eyes and turned the key. Nothing happened. Damn. Not again. May be I should take three chances. So I prayed and turned the key again. Nothing. Not even a sign. Okay. Final try I said to myself. I concentrated all my energy to my fingers and pressed the key as if though passing electricity from my mind to the bike. Then I turned the key…… no… no... no… Waste of time. The bike didn't show any trace of willingness to start. Then I noticed why the bike is not starting up. I haven't switched on the Engine switch. No wonder I lost the bet. I put on the switch and started the bike. After all, I don't believe in this silly bet stuff. I drove directly to Coffee Day where DA would be waiting for me.

It's a fifteen minutes drive from my home. I kept on practicing the words again and again in my mind. I decided that neither her smile nor her tears should change my mind today. You know girls can melt you easily by their smile and tears. A little smile can make your day the brightest ever and a single tear can stop your heartbeat that you would do anything in the world to make sure the tear never comes out again. The smile was the reason for the failure of the very first day and 6:03AM failed because of a tear. I couldn't tell her the words when she smiled directly at me when I told her "I have something important to tell her". It took me more than a week to recover from that smile and to get ready for 6:01AM day. I also couldn't tell her when she was already crying for losing the watch I gifted her on her birthday. I had to console her for a long time and bought her a puppy on the same day. She gave my name to the puppy and has already started teaching English to it. It looks more pitiful than me knowing that it can never say an English word other than "Bow bow" anyway.

Damn. It's the traffic signal. The only thing I hate about driving a bike is waiting in the traffic signal. A waste of time which occurs without any of your action. It's the time that is always out of your control. You can never plan for avoiding a traffic signal. My very first day got lost for this same reason. I was very well prepared after thinking a lot about the break-up. I was sure that it is the only possible solution and was heading to see her, when the traffic signal spoiled my day. Restless not able to wait in the signal, I drove while the signal was red only to make a lorry coming from the other side put on a sudden break bringing the car that was coming at its back to hit the lorry, while the two wheelers hit the car with an auto from the left side crashing on the road side where a man dived at the right time to avoid being hit by the auto. The traffic police was already on my side and after an hour he was counting 1000 rupees that was in my pocket before I made the lorry to apply break. I never carried more than 200 rupees after that incident. And the first day ended immediately as she had already left Coffee day when I reached there.

Luckily, there are many vehicles in front of me today and I cannot cause an accident even if I intend to. So the day progressed quietly as the signal turned green. I reached our usual meeting spot 2 minutes ahead. The clock showed 8:28AM. I decided to check if everything is right and nothing should be there to stop me saying the words today. I turned around to see if any couples are sitting around, especially whether there is any pair holding each others' hands. This was the reason for 6:02AM failure. I was gathering the words to start the conversation on that day when she spotted a pair completely in their own world holding hands together and dreaming in each other's eyes. Watching that, she pulled my hand and held with hers and was staring at the pair continuously. Still looking at the pair, she asked "What do you think they would be thinking right now?" For a guy who had gathered all the courage to tell the words, everything melted down by the sweet voice and the touch of her hands. When the same situation happened on 6:06AM day, she was holding my hands and looking at the pair sitting at the other corner. The girl was telling something in the guy's ear and they were laughing. Then the guy would tell something in the girl's ear and she would hit him playfully and both would laugh. Seeing this, she suddenly asked me. "What do you think the guy was telling her?" My first thought was "How would I know?" But I told something else that was right on my mind. It was a splendid response honestly. I gave her a look like why would I care and told her "May be he was telling her that he is breaking up and she is happy about it" I actually got an immediate response from her which was splendid and hot too. She poured the entire cappuccino over me making coffee-shirt out of my t-shirt. She left immediately and the day was over. I was happy anyway that I said those words indirectly. But her response showed that I have to be careful next time to order cool drinks instead.

My phone beeped. It was her. "Hi honey! I ll b thr in 10m. I am stuk in traffic."
I think I have to plan how I am going to start the talk today. May be I should start by pointing out the differences between us. That might hint her a bit. You know girls are always good at reading between the lines. They never go for the words you speak out. They always try to find the meaning of the unspoken words. But that didn't work out for me earlier. It was on 6:05AM day. I told her that there was an article in "The Hindu" by a well known psychiatrist that 2 out of 3 girls break up with their first boyfriend and find the correct guy only on the second time. To my surprise, she actually asked the page number. When I told her it was on page number 12, she started teasing that I am acting like a grown up reading newspapers totally missing my point I was trying to tell her. She then started discussing about how much she hate to read newspapers but buys it solely to solve the Sudoku puzzle that's comes everyday. The conversation ended up with me teaching her some techniques to solve Sudoku.

I went to the counter and ordered one cold coffee and one mango colada. I would have ordered Granitas. But I don't want to end up having ice chips inside my t-shirt today. When I came back to the table, I saw her coming out of the auto. She was wearing blue jeans and white tops which is her usual style. She waved her hands as she saw me at the table. I just raised my hand and tried to recall the words I had to say. It's direct to business today. So I started the talk even before she sat down.
I said "Hone…"
"What did you order?" she interrupted. "I am having cold. Let's have something hot. I want to have cappuccino please. I don't want to have the colada and turn my voice to a dinosaur" She laughed at her own joke.
"Yeah... yeah…" I too laughed not knowing what to say. "Sure. I will change the order" I went back to the counter.
You are going to hot cappuccino again on your t-shirt idiot. I asked the guy for cappuccino and told him not to keep the cappuccino hot. When I returned back to the table, she was eating polo. Seeing me she asked in her low tone, "See if I am having fever" I touched her forehead and found it warm.
"I think so" I replied.
"I think I will take leave today. I don't feel well at all."
"Yeah" I said. I wasn't ready to discuss more on that. I felt sorry for her though.
"I want to tell you something" I started without looking at her.
"What is it" she asked.

Suddenly the café guy placed mango colada and cappuccino on the table.
"Hey! I asked for cold coffee. Not mango colada" I complained.
"Cold coffee is also coming sir." He said coolly.
"What! I asked for cappuccino instead of mango colada"
He looked confused and said "No sir. You ordered three items".
"Yeah! But I cancelled mango colada" I corrected.
He was not ready to take back the served colada.
I suddenly realized that this is taking me away from the reason I came to coffee day.
I said ok to him and turned back to her.
"Yeah! Tell me" she helped.
She was sipping the hot cappuccino. I decided to wait till she finishes the coffee.
"Nothing. Drink the coffee" I got completely nervous.
Should I tell her or not? I should. But how? All the preparations I made from the morning weren't providing any help. I just kept staring at the white swirls in the coffee.
"Hmmm. Tell me. What is it?" she asked again.
"I... I… want to… I want… to say…"
"Achoo!" She sneezed.
She looked terrible having cold.
"Achoo! Yes baby…" She couldn't control the sneeze.
"I think... we... we should move on"
"Yeah! Let's leave. I cant sit here anymore, Drop me at my home" she was still concerned about her cold.

Why can't she understand my words? But she looks really awful. She must be feeling very bad. I am not ready to make this a failure though. But how can I tell her when she is feeling ill. She is not even to speak properly. She will not be able to take it. She dragged the chair next to me and leaned her head on my shoulders. That’s the end of my day. I could feel that she is having fever. She raised her head slowly and spoke in a weak voice. "Are you going to drink the mango colada as well?" I know what it means. It means you have had enough. I made up my mind. I am not going to drink the mango colada and I am going to set the alarm to 6:10AM next week.
I stood up and took her to the bike and told her "We are going to hospital now"
She leaned over my back and closed her eyes feeling safe with me. Why the hell am I trying to break up with her? I will let her know it sooner.

Happy Diwali


Let the
Festival of lights
bring you
Prosperity and Happiness
all the day in your life



Saturday, October 7, 2006

Let the guns talk


     I shouldn't be here. I made a promise and I am going to break it if I do what I am here to do. I promised her. I promised her no more killings. No more blood. No more death. I promised her that there will be peace. But the promise has to be broken. She is no more. It's all because of them. The talking wolves. Here I am waiting for these wolves to start what they do the best. Talk. Just talking. That's what they do. They keep on talking as if the world is under them and whatever they say will shape the world. Fools they are. At least for me. They are no match for my guns. I like the guns to do the talking. It is short but makes a clear impact to the listener. No questions will be asked. No doubts will be raised. Just a simple and powerful message. Do it or die. They will understand it soon. But I promised her that my guns will not be used at them. But she is not here. She can't be here. I think I am going to break the promise. I am going to kill them  

It is raining outside. I entered the den. The fortress built to enslave everyone; make everyone lose their life… of what is left in them. I wanted to make a difference. I wanted to make an end to this. I became one of them. I became the third eye watching the wolves; waiting for the right time to stab the back. I am the fox; the fox with the gun. I went straight to the room. The entire wolf pack was there. There was Merv, the pin who heads the wolf pack. My hands went to my pocket. I want to take it out and fire the bullets in his big ugly face. It might make his face look good. Then there was this deadly look Sliz. A devil under women's skin. I hate hurting women. But she is one exception that I like to make. She is more evil than anyone in this place. Once I give hers share of my bullets, I will personally check on her and give one more on her forehead to make sure, the brain has stopped working. I don't want to take any chance on her. Next to her is… oh no... not him; Vincento, the guy who I hate the most. I have some personal reasons for that. She likes him. She said she likes him. I wanted to kill him at the very moment. But she likes him and I can't hurt him. You know it's very tormenting when someone you like the most likes someone you hate the most. I am a tormented soul. But its vengeance now. I am going to send him to hell as well. It won't be an easy death for him. I assure you. It will be slow; he will feel his death; he will breathe for each second thinking that it could be his last one. He will wait for the death to come and take away the pain. Yes. I can imagine. He will die good. The room is surrounded by more of the wolves that deserve my bullets. I don't think I will come out alive. But it's worth the kill. It will be ME who breathes last in this room. I will see the soul leaving every body present in this room. Then I will let my little laugh and life what is left on me. My work will be done. I owe her. I will break the promise.

Let the talks end. Let the guns do the talking.



To be continued....

Wednesday, October 4, 2006

Being WEIRD(different) - Tagged by Iris

What is so weird about me is weirder to think of. I used to think of my weirdness as being different from others who call themselves normal. So to say it right, I am just different (weird) rather than being normal.

Count 1: The most and widely known weird thing about me is the speed at which I speak. It crosses the speed of sound that my second word sometimes collide with the first word making it crash on the highway that makes the other person hear neither the first word nor the second word but a mix of it. Sometimes, it is bit fast, that they hear only the start and end of the sentence. So when I want to say, "Can we go for lunch and have chicken. I want to have something hot." It mostly ends up as "Can wgofar……lunc…. halfChickent. I wanhave somethot." in their ears.

Count 2: Me, Myself and Computer. This is what I am. My life is so connected with computers that I use it for everything from work, play, schedule or sleep. It's very weird for those normal people.

Count 3: My hair style. I don't know if I have a hair style. It never sticks. Everyday it looks different. So if someone wants to identify me, they might say "Are you talking about that guy with that …. What is the hair style of him?? what is that... you know… the guy with that hair… you know… kind a weird… that one"

Count 4: My handwriting. Most of my colleagues at work are unaware of this weirdness. But it's a famous fact in school and college. How can anyone write like that and understand it. That is what will run on any person's mind when they see my writing. Ok ok. You can call it scribbling or koli kindarthu(the way how a hen scratches the land to find its food). But I like to call it writing. Till now, I think only my mom can understand it. But she hasn't read anything that I wrote after college days. So no one in the world have the ability to read my writing. It's a kind of self invented calligraphy that I alone can use. It's a secret code.

Count 5: Many people think that I am an English movie buff which is actually true. But what people say I am weird is that my dislike to Tamil movies. Though its only half-true, I accept I am weird (different) on that. I watch only good Tamil movies. Very selected ones. Not for any special actor or actress. But just for the movie if it's claimed to be good by the crowd. Not so weird but different.

Count 6: I am not that weird to count more than 5……or… Am I?